so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
