I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
