i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
