im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
