He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
