I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
