YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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