im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
