id be glad to
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
