Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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