Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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