i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
