drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
