Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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