weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think my mom watched the whole time
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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