Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
