New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
