whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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