She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
