I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
