My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She told me I should be a condom model.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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