I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
