I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
