Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Found your dick twin last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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