Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
