I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
