I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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