She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
