I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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