i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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