Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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