btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
