You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
