yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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