Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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