winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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