foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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