In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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