Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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