the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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