After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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