i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
