You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
