He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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