Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
