you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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