I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
