Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
