Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
