I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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