I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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