Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
